Words

So, there are words that sometimes I don't see coming. There is a joke in my class that I use a barbie doll to help me teach. I do this because I ended up always being like 3 people and acting it out was hard-so I enlisted the help of another "person."
Anyway, a girl brought me her Justin Bieber doll the other day, and I thought it was hysterical that it could sing. So, during passing times, I would stand out in the hallway, pressing the button to make the song play.
Some of the kids now apparently hate Justin Bieber (they start out loving and then it turns to hate!) and I happened to say, "What do you have against Justin Bieber". A kid right out loud said, "Well he's homosexual."

UGHHHHHHHH.

I hate these situations. I hate them because I won't and can't tolerate this. I hate them because I'm never actually quite sure what to do.

I don't think these situations are office referral worthy, mostly beacuse I feel it's more of an education time than anything. So, I asked him to go in the hall so I could talk to him. Left my class to go out there. He was mad at himself. He told me he doesn't think gay people are bad. We talked about words. How words hurt. How using a word as an insult is so derogatory. I told him I wasn't sure if I should give him an S.O.S or not.

Then I let him back in class and we went on with the day.

Then I contacted the guidance counselor and asked for her help. She pulled him, had another discussion, told him that if anything like that happened again, he WOULD be getting an SOS.

Sometimes it helps so much to have a little backup!

That time of year again

The thing I like least about my job might be the fact that it is an elective. That I "compete" with other teachers to have students enroll in my class. Whenever this time of year rolls around, stress comes along with it.
I find that a student telling me, "I like French better than Spanish!" is not the kind of compliment I want to hear. Sometimes, they'll tell me things they don't like about other teachers. It makes me extremely uncomfortable and I never know what to do. I hate that feeling, I hate that sometimes the kids think my class needs to be "fun." I do try my hardest to make it as fun as possible, but it's because I think learning is better fun :)

Immersion

I always find myself getting lazy as the year goes on with using all French to teach my class. The kids fight me on it, but I know it's for the best. Then I start to think..ugh, we are running out of time, we need to get this done, and I go by way of the easiest.
I really need to focus in more on making myself do it! I need to remember that.

Tough

Middle School is tough. Twice this week I have felt honored to have students come to me with different issues. One was a 7th grade boy. One of his friends had started another baseball team and he wasn't picked to be on it. This particular boy is one that has a good heart but gets in trouble sometimes. I was surprised that he told me about it. But it just made me sit and think that sometimes when kids are not paying attention, or they're grumpy-it could (and often is) be about friendship issues.
The second one was a girl who stopped in and just said, "Mrs. Wopat? I don't know what to do. I really, really, really don't want to eat in the lunchroom." So I asked her waht's going on and she told me she was fighting with her friends and couldn't sit anywhere else. I let her sit for a while and she didn't really want to talk, but I told her she could stay as long as she wants. She stayed the whole time and I told her if she ever needed to talk, I'm here.
Also this week I agreed to play in the staff vs. students basketball game. Ahhhh. I stink at basketball, so that should be....interesting.
These kind of things remind me of why I am a teacher. To be there, to help, to connect, to build relationships. The most important part.

Change

So, I've been really trying to look past all the political junk and focus on doing what I love: teaching.
I feel like as I look at my past entries, there is always something going on. Life always gets in the way of my job. Whether I'm down emotionally (to put it mildly, I guess), or tired, or in the middle of a change. Now the politics. I wonder if I'm finding an excuse as to why I'm not putting my whole self into my job.

I think I've mentioned it before, but I'm sure the kids don't notice. And I know I'm doing great activities, and great assessments, and I'm giving of myself every day. But, I think I know, deep down, that I've gotten lazy. My lazy is probably not what others would say is lazy. But I'm letting things slide, and sometimes I'm needing something new and not giving it.

I'm ready to try something else, because I'm bored. But I keep thinking-am I bored because I'm too lazy to try new things? I mean, I'm sick of doing the same activities, teaching the same content. As an applied teacher you just keep doing the same over and over. There's something to be said about the consistency that childs over different courses should get. And I have a curriculum to stick to. But that doesn't mean that how I teach-my delivery-can't change.

I think I need to focus on that as my goal.

UGH

So, I think this is a CRAZY time for our profession.
It's hard to not talk about it when kids ask questions. It's hard to push it out of my mind when I'm trying to teach.
Anyway, today was a hard day for me. We had a fire drill. The kids are not allowed to be talking at all during a fire drill. So a 7th grade boy was talking on his way out, and I bypassed my normal process and just said, quite firmly, "Absolutely NO talking. NONE" because I wanted them to know I mean business.
So, whatever, a few minutes go by, and I see him talking again. So I say, "Seriously?" and he stops.
Class finishes (we were taking an assessment) and a different boy comes up to my desk and says, "Mrs. Wopat? You know after you yelled at D in the line? He talked behind your back. He called you a fat bitch."
I wish I could tell you that it didn't make my cheeks burn. I wish I could say that I have thick skin and being called that didn't bother me at all. I wish I could say that a 12 year old couldn't make me feel bad about myself.
But I'm already stressed and tired and all the rest and it just kind of set me off.

Ugh.

I had to go hunt him down during academy and he pretended he hadn't sad it, and I almost let it go, but said, "Are you sure?" and he told me he did. He said he was sorry, but didn't mean it. Then he said he was just mad.
I told him how disappointed I am in him and that it will be hard for me to know he said those things about me and that I was shocked he would say something like it.
I don't know the right way to deal with it. I guess I thought even him just knowing that I know might have been embarrassing enough? I don't know.

Anyway.

New Semester

It has been SO fun to get new students. The one thing about this year's schedule change that has been VERY nice is not having to get new students every 5 weeks-it soooo burns me out. So having only one change this year has been great.

I LOVE the very beginning of a French class. 6th graders on the first day is SO invigorating. They motivate me. Seeing their smiles makes everything I do seem worth it.

Lately, I've been wanting to throw in the towel a lot. I struggle with leaving my daughter to come to work when I don't feel recognized or validated in what I do. I know it's not true, but I just don't think others see the value that I see in the children's need to learn a world language (not just French, any language). Sometimes I get sick of fighting the battle, get sick of the drama, of the same old stuff over again.

But then, I shut my door and begin with a new class of 6th grade. And I watch how engaged they are, and how excited they are to learn, and I know I must be doing something, anything right!

I also love how during my day I have 6th graders, then 7th graders, then 8th graders. I love getting to see them mature throughout my day, every day.