So, I've been really trying to look past all the political junk and focus on doing what I love: teaching.
I feel like as I look at my past entries, there is always something going on. Life always gets in the way of my job. Whether I'm down emotionally (to put it mildly, I guess), or tired, or in the middle of a change. Now the politics. I wonder if I'm finding an excuse as to why I'm not putting my whole self into my job.
I think I've mentioned it before, but I'm sure the kids don't notice. And I know I'm doing great activities, and great assessments, and I'm giving of myself every day. But, I think I know, deep down, that I've gotten lazy. My lazy is probably not what others would say is lazy. But I'm letting things slide, and sometimes I'm needing something new and not giving it.
I'm ready to try something else, because I'm bored. But I keep thinking-am I bored because I'm too lazy to try new things? I mean, I'm sick of doing the same activities, teaching the same content. As an applied teacher you just keep doing the same over and over. There's something to be said about the consistency that childs over different courses should get. And I have a curriculum to stick to. But that doesn't mean that how I teach-my delivery-can't change.
I think I need to focus on that as my goal.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
UGH
So, I think this is a CRAZY time for our profession.
It's hard to not talk about it when kids ask questions. It's hard to push it out of my mind when I'm trying to teach.
Anyway, today was a hard day for me. We had a fire drill. The kids are not allowed to be talking at all during a fire drill. So a 7th grade boy was talking on his way out, and I bypassed my normal process and just said, quite firmly, "Absolutely NO talking. NONE" because I wanted them to know I mean business.
So, whatever, a few minutes go by, and I see him talking again. So I say, "Seriously?" and he stops.
Class finishes (we were taking an assessment) and a different boy comes up to my desk and says, "Mrs. Wopat? You know after you yelled at D in the line? He talked behind your back. He called you a fat bitch."
I wish I could tell you that it didn't make my cheeks burn. I wish I could say that I have thick skin and being called that didn't bother me at all. I wish I could say that a 12 year old couldn't make me feel bad about myself.
But I'm already stressed and tired and all the rest and it just kind of set me off.
Ugh.
I had to go hunt him down during academy and he pretended he hadn't sad it, and I almost let it go, but said, "Are you sure?" and he told me he did. He said he was sorry, but didn't mean it. Then he said he was just mad.
I told him how disappointed I am in him and that it will be hard for me to know he said those things about me and that I was shocked he would say something like it.
I don't know the right way to deal with it. I guess I thought even him just knowing that I know might have been embarrassing enough? I don't know.
Anyway.
It's hard to not talk about it when kids ask questions. It's hard to push it out of my mind when I'm trying to teach.
Anyway, today was a hard day for me. We had a fire drill. The kids are not allowed to be talking at all during a fire drill. So a 7th grade boy was talking on his way out, and I bypassed my normal process and just said, quite firmly, "Absolutely NO talking. NONE" because I wanted them to know I mean business.
So, whatever, a few minutes go by, and I see him talking again. So I say, "Seriously?" and he stops.
Class finishes (we were taking an assessment) and a different boy comes up to my desk and says, "Mrs. Wopat? You know after you yelled at D in the line? He talked behind your back. He called you a fat bitch."
I wish I could tell you that it didn't make my cheeks burn. I wish I could say that I have thick skin and being called that didn't bother me at all. I wish I could say that a 12 year old couldn't make me feel bad about myself.
But I'm already stressed and tired and all the rest and it just kind of set me off.
Ugh.
I had to go hunt him down during academy and he pretended he hadn't sad it, and I almost let it go, but said, "Are you sure?" and he told me he did. He said he was sorry, but didn't mean it. Then he said he was just mad.
I told him how disappointed I am in him and that it will be hard for me to know he said those things about me and that I was shocked he would say something like it.
I don't know the right way to deal with it. I guess I thought even him just knowing that I know might have been embarrassing enough? I don't know.
Anyway.
Monday, January 31, 2011
New Semester
It has been SO fun to get new students. The one thing about this year's schedule change that has been VERY nice is not having to get new students every 5 weeks-it soooo burns me out. So having only one change this year has been great.
I LOVE the very beginning of a French class. 6th graders on the first day is SO invigorating. They motivate me. Seeing their smiles makes everything I do seem worth it.
Lately, I've been wanting to throw in the towel a lot. I struggle with leaving my daughter to come to work when I don't feel recognized or validated in what I do. I know it's not true, but I just don't think others see the value that I see in the children's need to learn a world language (not just French, any language). Sometimes I get sick of fighting the battle, get sick of the drama, of the same old stuff over again.
But then, I shut my door and begin with a new class of 6th grade. And I watch how engaged they are, and how excited they are to learn, and I know I must be doing something, anything right!
I also love how during my day I have 6th graders, then 7th graders, then 8th graders. I love getting to see them mature throughout my day, every day.
I LOVE the very beginning of a French class. 6th graders on the first day is SO invigorating. They motivate me. Seeing their smiles makes everything I do seem worth it.
Lately, I've been wanting to throw in the towel a lot. I struggle with leaving my daughter to come to work when I don't feel recognized or validated in what I do. I know it's not true, but I just don't think others see the value that I see in the children's need to learn a world language (not just French, any language). Sometimes I get sick of fighting the battle, get sick of the drama, of the same old stuff over again.
But then, I shut my door and begin with a new class of 6th grade. And I watch how engaged they are, and how excited they are to learn, and I know I must be doing something, anything right!
I also love how during my day I have 6th graders, then 7th graders, then 8th graders. I love getting to see them mature throughout my day, every day.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Clinical Student
So, for the past month, I've had a clinical student from Luther College. I was pretty excited for it, even though I knew that this time of year my schedule is so messed up (field trips, holidays, ending a semester and beginning a new one). So, since this was her first real experience in a French class, I thought I'd have her start by observing, then teach a few classes where she could watch me teach them first, and then if she wanted, she could plan a teach a lesson.
For the first time, I started to think of myself as a veteran teacher! It shocks me-I'm not the "new kid" anymore! I felt like I had something to share with her, and in turn it has helped me feel validated when I especially needed it.
It's honestly been pretty difficult to have someone else start your classroom and you come in 3 months into it. I'm so thankful for the time I had off, but I never felt a connection with the students, and honestly, there were some habits developed that were kind of annoying :)
Anyway, watching the clinical student teach this lesson was a really good way/time to reflect on myself. I have learned so much over the years! I can think of good things about what I do that I'm proud of.
But, I also have been kind of in a rut. With so much going on in my life, as well as the constant schedule changing, I have been lazy. I have been living with the status quo, because it works. But I think I might be getting a little bored with the same ol'. Something I deifnitely need to work on.
For the first time, I started to think of myself as a veteran teacher! It shocks me-I'm not the "new kid" anymore! I felt like I had something to share with her, and in turn it has helped me feel validated when I especially needed it.
It's honestly been pretty difficult to have someone else start your classroom and you come in 3 months into it. I'm so thankful for the time I had off, but I never felt a connection with the students, and honestly, there were some habits developed that were kind of annoying :)
Anyway, watching the clinical student teach this lesson was a really good way/time to reflect on myself. I have learned so much over the years! I can think of good things about what I do that I'm proud of.
But, I also have been kind of in a rut. With so much going on in my life, as well as the constant schedule changing, I have been lazy. I have been living with the status quo, because it works. But I think I might be getting a little bored with the same ol'. Something I deifnitely need to work on.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Yikes
Sometimes I underestimate the affect I may or may not have on students. I just got a new class of 8th graders, and there is a boy in that class who I find to be particularly funny. We were playing a review game in class, and when the game was over, someone said, "Les bonbons, Madame??" (Candy?)
I laughed and told them no and this boy said, "You can't ask that! If you ask that she gets mad!"
This totally boggled my mind because, well, I don't actually get mad very often and I can't remember I time that I've yelled recently, and this class is brand new.
So I said, "What do you mean? How do you know that?" (because, honestly, I give out candy every once in a while, and if they ask, then I definitely do NOT give it out).
He said, "I asked for bonbons once in 6th grade and you got mad. You were my first applied ever in middle school."
It just kind of hit me-this kid remembers this 3 years later? Seriously? I mean, he still chose French, so he must have had good memories, too, but it's humbling to think that one bad day or outburst or whatever you call it can stick with a kid!
Yikes!!!
I laughed and told them no and this boy said, "You can't ask that! If you ask that she gets mad!"
This totally boggled my mind because, well, I don't actually get mad very often and I can't remember I time that I've yelled recently, and this class is brand new.
So I said, "What do you mean? How do you know that?" (because, honestly, I give out candy every once in a while, and if they ask, then I definitely do NOT give it out).
He said, "I asked for bonbons once in 6th grade and you got mad. You were my first applied ever in middle school."
It just kind of hit me-this kid remembers this 3 years later? Seriously? I mean, he still chose French, so he must have had good memories, too, but it's humbling to think that one bad day or outburst or whatever you call it can stick with a kid!
Yikes!!!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
A little goes a long way
So, the other day a 6th grade boy came in carrying a sketch pad. On it, he had a pencil drawing of a car (a Mustang, maybe? I didn't really know) and so I asked to see it. He showed me, and smiled, and told me a little about it.
The next time he had class, he came in, carrying the sketch pad, open this time, and he had added more to the drawing (shading, and background). He stood in front of me, holding the sketchpad just so in order for me to notice it. So, I did, and commented, and said that I liked Mustangs. Perhaps it was a little lie, because I don't really care about cars.
Well, next class, he brought me in an article he had printed about Mustangs. And I noticed he had written
To: Mrs. Wopat
From: M
on the picture. Only he didn't give it to me.
He still carries his sketch pad to class every day. I'm not sure if i should say, "Hey! It says my name on it-is it for me?"
I wonder if he's nervous? If he thinks I won't like it?
It is just a reminder to me of how far one little thing-my comment that I liked his picture-can go. It also reminds me just how much importance some (most?) kids put on your words. It makes me think that one sarcastic/joking comment can impact a kids entire day (week?). They remember things you say. They want you to compliment them. They hope you like their drawings. They look for your acceptance.
I get frustrated sometimes....
"Seriously? No pencil? Are you kidding me?"
(I'm sure they're certainly not kidding)
"What grade did you really think you would get on this test?"
(I'm sure they knew they needed the help)
Those are just two from this week that I regret. That I can't take back after I've said them, but I can apologize. I can try to fix it.
Last story.
7th grade boy. Failing French when I got back from leave. Kept pushing him to study during class. Don't know much about him.
Today was the assessment. He comes up. Seriously, he started talking for the assessment and he was just speaking gibberish. Total gobblygook. I was so perplexed. So I just said, "Look. You know you can re-do anything. Let's study together."
Then after he sat down, I thought of something. So I called him back up.
"Who is your advisor? Who is your academy teacher?"
Then, "Do you ever See Mrs. Hanson, or Mrs. Crogan?"
Yep, Mrs. Hanson is my teacher.
Sinking feeling. Should've been getting accomodations! How did I miss this?
I show him the assessment with a word bank. He WHIZZES through it. I mean, seriously-he got an A+ while using the word bank.
A little goes a LONG WAY!
The next time he had class, he came in, carrying the sketch pad, open this time, and he had added more to the drawing (shading, and background). He stood in front of me, holding the sketchpad just so in order for me to notice it. So, I did, and commented, and said that I liked Mustangs. Perhaps it was a little lie, because I don't really care about cars.
Well, next class, he brought me in an article he had printed about Mustangs. And I noticed he had written
To: Mrs. Wopat
From: M
on the picture. Only he didn't give it to me.
He still carries his sketch pad to class every day. I'm not sure if i should say, "Hey! It says my name on it-is it for me?"
I wonder if he's nervous? If he thinks I won't like it?
It is just a reminder to me of how far one little thing-my comment that I liked his picture-can go. It also reminds me just how much importance some (most?) kids put on your words. It makes me think that one sarcastic/joking comment can impact a kids entire day (week?). They remember things you say. They want you to compliment them. They hope you like their drawings. They look for your acceptance.
I get frustrated sometimes....
"Seriously? No pencil? Are you kidding me?"
(I'm sure they're certainly not kidding)
"What grade did you really think you would get on this test?"
(I'm sure they knew they needed the help)
Those are just two from this week that I regret. That I can't take back after I've said them, but I can apologize. I can try to fix it.
Last story.
7th grade boy. Failing French when I got back from leave. Kept pushing him to study during class. Don't know much about him.
Today was the assessment. He comes up. Seriously, he started talking for the assessment and he was just speaking gibberish. Total gobblygook. I was so perplexed. So I just said, "Look. You know you can re-do anything. Let's study together."
Then after he sat down, I thought of something. So I called him back up.
"Who is your advisor? Who is your academy teacher?"
Then, "Do you ever See Mrs. Hanson, or Mrs. Crogan?"
Yep, Mrs. Hanson is my teacher.
Sinking feeling. Should've been getting accomodations! How did I miss this?
I show him the assessment with a word bank. He WHIZZES through it. I mean, seriously-he got an A+ while using the word bank.
A little goes a LONG WAY!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Coming Back
So, I'm back from maternity leave. So much has happened in just 12 days of school for me, so I think I will make a list of highlights for now:
1. Having students tell me they missed me
2. Having students tell me they are learning now! (not a slight against my sub; she's great-just that it makes me feel effective)
3. Being asked to be the "celebrity" guest at the adaptive phy ed class. I played baseball with a giant bouncy ball and a tennis racket. I was not so good.
4. Singing
5. Laughing
6. Being surprised by some of the positive attitudes of certain staff members!
7. Finding it quite easy to get back in the swing of things
8. Already feeling like I was never gone (the good parts of that-feeling comfortable, feeling respect from the kids).
9. PBIS, 'nuff said.
10. It's sort of fun to not be "burnt out" at this time of year. It's the hardest time, in winter before the holidays, and so it's fun to have just started because I have a little more patience than normal during this time
11. Seeing how much the kids have grown since I saw them last!
12. Although I will never be the same, it's nice to be back without being in those nasty initial grief stages, not be pregnant and racked with anxiety, and not even trying to be pregnant, and have basicially a calm on all family fronts. I'm still distracted by the thought of my beauty at home, but it's a nice thought instead of the rest.
13. Although I have a lot to learn, I like Infinite Campus so far!
And the lowlights:
1. Having SO MANY kids. Seriously. This almost counters all my highlights :(
2. Having kids every other day. This schedule is HARD. I don't know who is coming or going. I have a hard time keeping 4 classes on the same track. I don't know how I'm going to grade them. I feel like when I don't have a class from Friday until Tuesday, I have to completely reteach the content-reviewing has become so much more important and time consuming.
3. Feeling like I have no clue about certain things-obviously this can't be helped, but sometimes I get SO confused!
4. Some classes have developed some (bad?) habits that I'm not used and have to work hard to re-direct.
5. Feeling like I haven't a good grasp on how the kids were graded.
6. I'm not feeling at ALL connected to my advisory. I struggle with that-it's always been one of my favorite classes and not being around for the get to know you stage is HARD!
7. I am TIRED!
8. I miss my baby girl so, so much.
1. Having students tell me they missed me
2. Having students tell me they are learning now! (not a slight against my sub; she's great-just that it makes me feel effective)
3. Being asked to be the "celebrity" guest at the adaptive phy ed class. I played baseball with a giant bouncy ball and a tennis racket. I was not so good.
4. Singing
5. Laughing
6. Being surprised by some of the positive attitudes of certain staff members!
7. Finding it quite easy to get back in the swing of things
8. Already feeling like I was never gone (the good parts of that-feeling comfortable, feeling respect from the kids).
9. PBIS, 'nuff said.
10. It's sort of fun to not be "burnt out" at this time of year. It's the hardest time, in winter before the holidays, and so it's fun to have just started because I have a little more patience than normal during this time
11. Seeing how much the kids have grown since I saw them last!
12. Although I will never be the same, it's nice to be back without being in those nasty initial grief stages, not be pregnant and racked with anxiety, and not even trying to be pregnant, and have basicially a calm on all family fronts. I'm still distracted by the thought of my beauty at home, but it's a nice thought instead of the rest.
13. Although I have a lot to learn, I like Infinite Campus so far!
And the lowlights:
1. Having SO MANY kids. Seriously. This almost counters all my highlights :(
2. Having kids every other day. This schedule is HARD. I don't know who is coming or going. I have a hard time keeping 4 classes on the same track. I don't know how I'm going to grade them. I feel like when I don't have a class from Friday until Tuesday, I have to completely reteach the content-reviewing has become so much more important and time consuming.
3. Feeling like I have no clue about certain things-obviously this can't be helped, but sometimes I get SO confused!
4. Some classes have developed some (bad?) habits that I'm not used and have to work hard to re-direct.
5. Feeling like I haven't a good grasp on how the kids were graded.
6. I'm not feeling at ALL connected to my advisory. I struggle with that-it's always been one of my favorite classes and not being around for the get to know you stage is HARD!
7. I am TIRED!
8. I miss my baby girl so, so much.
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